31672: Gene banks, coolers on Mars, and Oracle Errors

When, out of sheer procrastinatory foolishness, I Googled the number 31672 (the number of words we’re all supposed to have by midnight tonight for NaNoWriMo), the results were mostly dead boring – lots of bug and error reports, work manuals and bylaw entries.  Ugh.  But my imagination is a resilient and determined beast, and began to see stories in the oddest placest.  A particular phrase would jump out, and I could envision an entire story spooling out behind it:

Unigene’s EST ProfileViewer – Definitely a Gattaca-type future, where you can look up anyone’s gene profile.

Used Reach-In Drink Cooler Commercial – What, exactly, would constitute a used commercial?  I suspect it’s one of those that has been played so many times you are well and truly sick of seeing it (the kind that plagues you despite having the mute on, because it even looks stupid), and are bound and determined to boycott any product that company puts out from now until the end of time.  But for someone living on Mars, well, it might be fresh and new!  Yours for only $316.72.

An ad for China Massage Chairs, by a “Hairdressing Implement Company”.  Aside from potentially spawning interesting visual images for those in possession of a dirty mind, I found myself musing on the awkwardness of the phrase “hairdressing implement”. Okay, maybe that one’s just me.

And finally (ending, I’m afraid, on a rather tragic note)- Coming to us via Oracle Error 31672: “Worker process string died unexpectedly.”  The cause: A Data Pump process model worker process died unexpectedly, so PMON is cleaning up the process. (I picture PMON as some kind of sophisticated AI, in a future where AI’s are sentient and don’t always do what their creators tell them to; I mean, if you had a brain the size of a planet, and they kept relegating you to clean-up duty, wouldn’t you get restless too?)  A TRON-esque world comes unbidden to mind (and yes, I realize that dates me.)

See how easy it is to come up with ideas? Now, if only it were equally easy to weave them into something ressembling a coherent story.  Which reminds me, I should really stop fooling around and get back to my loom.  Keep at it, folks!  Only eleven days to go!